4 years sober + 4 tips for sobriety without AA Matt Hunt

Weekly meetings are listed in local AA directories in print, online and in apps. To stay recovered, they suggest maintained spiritual development and the taking of other alcoholics through the Steps. Though not explicitly suggested, the latter is often done by sponsoring other alcoholics. The Steps do urge submission to the will of God—”as we understood Him”—but are accepting and accommodating to the practices and convictions of other spiritual persuasions Sober Home as well as those of non-theist members. But, back at AA, let go and let god … fake it to you make it … meeting makers make it … one day at a time … the program works. These are the bromides, the bumper sticker slogans that power the simple-minded, and often times, deeply religious folk who flock to the meetings. I am so glad I found this thread and have spent a bit of time reading through all the comments, all of which I can relate to.

sober without aa

Whether this is some sort of spiritual program, giving back to your community, getting involved in recovery activism, is all up to you. There are also online programs to help you quit drinking without AA. My company, Workit Health, has offers online, science-backed courses to help you beat alcoholism, all from your computer or phone. Whether or not you do 12-step along with it is up to you. Staying sober long-term takes self-care, getting support, a relapse prevention plan, and committing to healthy living. While 40-60% sounds like a high number, the relapse sober without aa rate for addiction is “are similar to rates for other chronic medical illnesses.” Relapse prevention can help you stay sober throughout your addiction recovery. In 1983, a review stated that the AA program’s focus on admission of having a problem increases deviant stigma and strips members of their previous cultural identity, replacing it with the deviant identity. A 1985 study based on observations of AA meetings warned of detrimental iatrogenic effects of the twelve-step philosophy and concluded that AA uses many methods that are also used by cults.

Benefits of Relapse Prevention Programs

Well, I was thinking that the host knew I didn’t drink, as beforehand, he’d asked me if I ate food prepared with alcohol and I told him yes. A structured routine will help you achieve other goals in your life, whether they are short-term or long-term . Having a chaotic or disorganized lifestyle can also hinder your recovery. It’s important to develop a structured daily and weekly schedule and stick to it. Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares how to avoid repeating mistakes and build better habits. The symptoms involved in PAWS can be a barrier to recovery if you’re not careful. In addition to being able to recognize them, it’s important to know when to seek help. Post-acute withdrawal syndrome involves experiencing withdrawal symptoms that persist past the detox period.

  • You will grow into a “parrot talking robot” without any confidence that you will be able to live without AA.
  • My own company, Workit Health, has created our own recovery meeting format, called Workit Together.
  • You might have a slip, relapse, or strong urge to drink or use drugs.
  • It’s taken a lot of humiliation, soul-searching and grim self-evaluation for me to admit I am an alcoholic—first to myself, then to my inner circle, then to the world at large.

Now empowering me slowly as its in my subconscious. Read, affirm, keep positive friends, get therapy. I completely agree with the writer of this letter. I think that my biggest problem with AA is that it pounds into you just how powerless you are over drinking, alcohol, and the addiction. How is that good for anyone to be made to think that wew have no power over the decisions that we make? I don’t know about you, but even though I know I could get out of control if I drank too much, but I still think that there is an element of me not being powerless over that.

The Top 25 Sober Communities Beyond Traditional AA

I stopped attending meetings because a lot of stuff I was instructed to believe became less useful the more “sober” I got. The other day I came across this great article that spells out the very frustration I would feel in meetings. Congratulate someone on their sobriety by expressing your support. You might say, “I’m really proud of you,” or “I’m so happy to see you succeed.” Avoid asking questions that are too personal or focusing on the negative aspects of their substance use.

Having peers who are going through or have dealt with the struggles of alcoholism provides much-needed emotional support. They can also be an invaluable source of practical advice for things like withdrawal and or even repairing relationships with estranged loved ones. Fortunately for me, I have spent quite a bit of time developing relationships and building a bit of a life outside of rooms. Generally speaking, I just don’t want to be around this cult like behaviour anymore with people telling me that God got me sober for a reason and I should do what they tell me to.

How to Stay Sober

Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy. Long-term sobriety is a relative term—it means different things to different people. But many people consider long-term sobriety to be sobriety that has lasted at least one year. Learn that you have choices and that you can maintain control. If any area of your life is out of control, it will not help you maintain lasting sobriety. Once you do return to work, it’s important to create a budget and take steps to safeguard yourself as work stress can be a relapse trigger.

sober without aa

Contact Smart Recovery where you really can identify positive and effective methods to long term sobriety. You will grow into a “parrot talking robot” without any confidence that you will be able to live without AA. It’s sad and pathetic the lies that are covered about the “Truth” of Bill W. But today I just feel like it wants to keep me mad/insane. Unless a person is certified or licensed all they can do is identify they have aubstance abuse issues. There are new treatment models that address today’s Addicrion needs.

I always thought it was strange that AA seemed very “God” based, but since it did not directly affect me or my family, I didn’t really care. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Festivas Beer can Pole or anything else you believe in or don’t believe in help you to continue to stay sober and be content in life. So that for most folks,without a mental illness, there is something powerful in the act of being held accountable; in a 12 step group it is to your peers. Most folks get encouragement, support and understanding along with the deep emotional commitment to try to do better within a context of personal relationships. The so called “god stuff” you posit is just the icing on the cake, or the reach beyond. It is an acknowledgment that sometimes folks feel overwhelmed.

Sober living homes can be the next step after completing a treatment program. Then, completing treatment advances you to sober living. Following that, you get back in the real world, where your life of sobriety is just beginning. Each stage of recovery brings you closer to your goal of long-term sobriety. When you advance to a new phase, tell your loved ones and share your success with them. You can increase the odds of staying sober by finding support and asober livingcommunity. I’ll Cry Tomorrow – A 1955 film about singer Lillian Roth played by Susan Hayward who goes to AA to help her stop drinking. The film was based on Roth’s autobiography of the same name detailing her alcoholism and sobriety through AA.

Sobriety is very personal and I commend you for searching for what works for you. I have a friend who goes to AA and SMART and likes them both. I know some that go to AA for some time, then switch to another path. My sense is, if you find yourself sober and happy with your life, you’re on the right track! There is no empirical data which proves that AA helps alcoholics get sober or stay sober. Yes, you can cite story after transformative, inspiring story, as can I, but that’s all anecdotal evidence. Multiple accredited sources report that AA members fail to stay sober more often than they succeed. Wiredreports that it does and I believe that it does.Wiredalso reports that group talk therapy like the sharing that occurs in AA helps people recovering from cancer and pathogen-driven diseases like tuberculosis. My takeaway is that it benefits people suffering from a hardship to congregate with other people suffering from the same hardship to talk about their experiences.

Life is better without AA but I give credit where it’s due, it did help me in the early days. I hope you make the right decision and do what’s best for yourself without being influenced by folk heavily indoctrinated by AA. You know, I am not perfect but I am not going to drink. I will go insane if I have to sit in any more aa meetings and listen to someone talk about “when I was drinking …” ok, that was 30+ years ago. Creepy 13th stepping sh$t, crazy abusive behaviors and aggressive, hostile gossip – I can’t handle it and it can take me several days to recover from some of their behavior. I have such an emotional hangover right now because of too many dysfunctional people around me from these local meetings. When people sit in the same rooms day after day and talk about the same stuff over and over, and then give me grief because I don’t do my recovery like them – whoa!

Eco Sober House

Your family members and loved ones should understand what you are going through. They likely will not pressure you to join along with them if you feel uncomfortable. Being honest with yourself means asking, “Am I ready for this? ” Maybe your family drinks to celebrate the holidays, or your high school friends want to meet at a bar over winter break. To stay sober during events like these, you must first be honest with yourself. Staying sober duringtriggering events, like parties, weddings,holidays, vacations, and when out with friends who drink, can be tough. You can focus each day on doing something that will make you feel happy and fulfilled. As you go one day at a time, the days will add up. You will find that long-term sobriety is possible when you focus on the daily process instead of the long-term end goal.

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